The Art of Becoming
A student recently shared her word of the year with me: becoming.
I’ve been thinking about this word ever since. Not only is it beautiful, but it also captures something essential about the coaching journey that’s often hard to articulate.
When someone comes to a health and wellbeing coach, they’re not a problem to be solved; they’re a person in the process of becoming.
But what does that actually mean?
If you think about it, we’re so conditioned to think in terms of arrival—hitting a goal weight, achieving a certain fitness level, or meeting a wellness target. Which suggests there’s a final destination, a point at which we’ll have “made it” and can stop trying.
However, what I’ve observed over years of coaching: the people who sustain real, lasting change aren’t focused on arriving anywhere or reaching an endpoint. They’re engaged in the ongoing practice of becoming; they keep working on themselves, meaning they’re always growing.
The difference might seem subtle, but it changes everything.
Who Are You Becoming?
Most people already know what they should do: eat better, move more, get enough sleep, and set boundaries. The real challenge isn’t knowing, it’s in becoming that person.
It’s in the daily practice of making choices that align with who you’re becoming rather than who you’ve been. In noticing when old patterns pull you back and choosing differently. In the small moments of decision that gradually shape a different way of being.
That’s why asking yourself, “Who are you becoming?” can make such a difference.
Can you see the difference? One approach focuses on the end goal, but the other values the journey. Becoming is about shaping yourself through the choices you make.
Living the Question
My student chose “becoming” as her word for the year, giving herself a meaningful practice. It’s not about reaching a set goal, but about staying curious and open.
Throughout her days, she can ask:
These questions allow for the making of conscious choices rather than defaulting to old patterns. They ask of you to stay curious about who you’re creating yourself to be, who you are becoming.
What Coaching Offers
This is why I’m so passionate about coaching as a profession and why I train others to do this work.
Because becoming isn’t something you can do from a prescriptive plan. Becoming requires someone to witness you, to reflect back what they notice, and to ask questions that help you see yourself more clearly. It requires accountability that comes from a genuine relationship, not just tracking metrics.
A coach doesn’t tell you who to become; they help you discover and create it for yourself. They’re there with you through the ups and downs of change, and they remind you of your progress when old habits try to pull you back.
Whether you work with a coach or not, the invitation is the same: Who are you becoming?
It’s not about who you think you should be, or who would please others, or who matches the image you’ve tried to keep up.
Who are you actually becoming through the choices you make each day? And is that who you want to be?
If not, what one small choice could you make today that would shift you toward who you’re becoming?
This is the work. Not a dramatic overnight transformation, but the gradual becoming of someone who aligns more and more closely with who they want to be.
The art of becoming is simply this: staying aware of the process, making thoughtful, conscious choices, and trusting that each small decision helps shape who you are creating yourself to be.
If this resonated, you can explore more reflections like this over on our blog.
