The Overwhelm of Choice

Have you ever found yourself silently screaming, “I am just too overwhelmed?” If so, you are not alone.

Often, we think of overwhelm as someone with too much on their plate, no time to do it all, and a sense that no matter how fast you move, you are somehow always slightly behind. It is exhausting, relentless and debilitating.

And whilst yes, that version is very real, I would like to consider another version of overwhelm that can get overlooked. A quieter version, a version where time isn’t limited but instead spacious. Where the pressure to do isn’t coming from the outside at all.

This is an overwhelm that can be confusing because there is nothing obvious to point at and no packed schedule to blame. Which means it tends to arrive with an uninvited companion: a creeping sense that something must be wrong with you.

There isn’t.

When life creates genuine space, something interesting happens. We are suddenly faced with a choice. A real, open-ended choice about how to spend our time, what to pursue, what to prioritise. And rather than feeling liberating, that choice can feel surprisingly overwhelming.

Because the moment we begin to choose, a voice appears.

It questions whether the choice is acceptable. Is what you are going to do productive enough, sensible enough, worthy enough… as surely this gives gravitas to our sense of self?! For doing something just because… well, isn’t that just a little too indulgent?

Indulgent, or whatever version of it your own voice uses, reveals something important about the story we are telling ourselves.

If your own desires feel indulgent, it often means that somewhere along the way, you absorbed the belief that what you want needs to be justified before it can be pursued. Perhaps your needs must be earned, that following your own inclinations, without a clear and defensible reason, is somehow a little bit selfish.

Every option then gets filtered through this quiet, relentless voice of ‘Is this ok for me to do? Is this worthy?’ And so the spaciousness that should feel like freedom starts to lead to paralysis, with nothing chosen and nothing getting done.

No planner or productivity system will remove the sense of overwhelm, because the obstacle is not how your hours are arranged. It is the belief that your desires sit somewhere below your obligations in the hierarchy of what is allowed. And moving beyond that belief requires something that can feel quietly radical: deciding that what you want is worth moving toward in the first place.

So sit with it for a moment. Not the voice, not the judgement, but the thing itself. The thing that is calling you. Ask yourself why it matters to you, not to anyone else, but to yourself. What is it giving you? What are the feelings you are seeking from it?

Because here is something worth remembering. We do not always have to be doing to be worthy. Being is equally as important. And being with ourselves, with our own wants and needs and desires, is as valid and as valuable as any obligation we could fill our hours with.

If you are feeling overwhelmed with the choice of spaciousness, honour that. It is real, even if it looks nothing like the overwhelm the world tends to validate. You are not lazy. You are not failing. You are simply someone who has not yet given themselves full permission to validate their own desires.

Until now.

Start simply. When you feel stillness turn to stuckness, pause before you judge it. Notice what you were considering doing in the moment before the voice arrived. Notice what it said. Not to argue with it, not to analyse it to pieces, just to see it clearly. Because we cannot question what we cannot see.

That noticing is not a small thing. It is the beginning of giving yourself permission. Which, it turns out, nobody else was ever going to give you.

So I will leave you with this.

What is one thing you have been wanting to move toward that you have quietly been telling yourself you are not quite allowed to want?

Then give yourself full permission to do it and sense the relief as the overwhelm lifts.

If reflections like this resonate with you, you can explore more of our articles on wellbeing and personal growth.