Full moon in a black night sky – Tired but Wired: Why You Can't Switch Off at Night

Tired but Wired: Why You Can’t Switch Off at Night

Claire MaguireByClaire Maguire

You’re exhausted. You’ve been yawning since teatime. And then your head touches the pillow and, like a switch flicking on, your mind wakes up.

The conversation you wish you’d handled differently. Tomorrow’s to-do list. That email you haven’t answered.

Sound familiar? From what I notice in the people I work with, “tired but wired” is one of the most common, and most frustrating, sleep experiences there is. And it makes perfect sense once you understand what’s happening in your body.

Your stress response doesn’t clock off

Your body has a brilliant built-in alarm system. When it senses a threat, the stress response kicks in. As Harvard Health explains, adrenaline raises your heart rate, blood pressure and breathing, and a chain of signals from the brain to the adrenal glands releases cortisol to keep you alert.

That’s wonderful if you need to leap out of the way of a bus. It’s far less helpful when the “threat” is an inbox, a deadline or a worry about someone you love. Your body responds as if you need to be ready for action, and readiness is the opposite of rest.

You can’t think your way to sleep when your body still believes it’s on duty.

Why it shows up at bedtime

During the day we’re busy. Our attention is pulled outwards, and worries often sit quietly in the background. At night, the distractions fall away. The room goes dark and quiet, and everything we’ve been carrying finally gets our full attention.

Evening habits can add to it too: checking the news or emails in bed, working late, bright screens, or simply rushing from one task to the next and then expecting to drop straight off. As I recently wrote about your body clock, the signals we give our bodies in the evening matter enormously.

The Mental Health Foundation notes that sleep and mental health are deeply intertwined, with anxiety in particular bringing racing thoughts that keep sleep at bay. The two can feed each other, which is why gently breaking the cycle is so worthwhile.

Building a bridge between day and night

What most “tired but wired” sleepers are missing is a bridge: a period of time that tells the body the day is done. The Sleep Foundation suggests starting a wind-down routine somewhere between 30 minutes and two hours before bed.

It doesn’t need to be elaborate. It just needs to be consistent.

Try this: a 30-minute wind-down

  1. Park your thoughts (5 minutes). Write down tomorrow’s to-do list and anything on your mind. The Sleep Foundation highlights that a short to-do list before bed can help you fall asleep faster. You’re giving your brain permission to let go, because nothing will be forgotten.
  2. Screens away, lights down (start now). Swap the overhead light for a lamp and put your phone out of reach.
  3. Breathe out the day (5 minutes). Try a few rounds of slow breathing with long exhales. The cyclic sigh from my five-minute breathing reset is perfect here.
  4. Release the body (10 minutes). A warm shower, gentle stretching, or tensing and softening each muscle group from your toes to your face.
  5. Something calm (the rest). A familiar book, quiet music or a herbal tea. Keep it unremarkable.

If you still find yourself wide awake after about 20 minutes in bed, it can help to get up, go somewhere dim and quiet, and return when you feel sleepy, rather than lying there battling your thoughts.

When to seek support

If racing thoughts and poor sleep are with you most nights for several weeks, or worry is affecting your days, please speak to your GP. Help is available, and you don’t have to manage it alone.

Coach’s Corner

With “tired but wired” clients, resist the urge to add more sleep rules. Explore their evenings instead: what happens in the two hours before bed? Helping a client design their own bridge between day and night is often far more effective than any single tip.

A question to sit with

What does your body experience in the hour before bed, and what would help it feel the day is truly over?

Your next step

If you’d like to understand how stress, routines and environment shape sleep, and how to guide others towards better rest, our Sleep Well Coach Training explores all of this at your own pace. It includes a ready-made 28-day client programme, and you’ll earn a certificate for 40 CPD hours from the Association for Coaching when you complete it. Here’s to calmer evenings, and quieter minds when the lights go out.

Further reading

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