Whatever Happened to The Good Life?

Is anyone old enough to remember the TV series The Good Life? It portrayed an ideal of what constituted a good life, circa the 1970s, of escaping the rat race and becoming self-sufficient. Which, as I write, is perhaps still what people, perhaps you, would say makes a good life.

But it does, however, ask the question: What does it take to live a good life?

It is a question that sounds simple, yet many of us have never really sat with it and thought with genuine curiosity about what the answer may look like for ourselves, as opposed to what we are told makes a good life.

You know, the life fed to us through our media, social media, culture, family, the people around us… all telling us you should do that, look like this, have that, be this, go there and live as I say to make your life good. It is relentless and exhausting. Especially if we orient ourselves towards the ‘perfect picture’ of a good life and measure ourselves against it and find ourselves lacking.

Yet, the question of what does a good life look like to me, and perhaps just as importantly what does a good life feel like for me remains unanswered. Perhaps because life is loud and messy and scary, and uncertain.

So we can find ourselves chasing measures of success to show we have a good life – the right holidays, the right car, the right body, the right relationship, the right house and on it goes, wanting the next right thing.

And whilst there is nothing inherently wrong with this, there is a psychological phenomenon known as hedonic adaptation, where we pursue external things in the belief they will make us happy, and they do, but not forever, as we adapt and adjust to the new thing or circumstance.

So we seek the next thing and the next and the next… which leads us to what is known as the hedonic treadmill, where we just need more to be happy. This in and of itself is exhausting, and I would say demoralising, which, to my mind, is the opposite of a good life!

And yet, in my mind, pleasure itself is not the enemy here.

There is something genuinely valuable in seeking out pleasurable experiences; the philosophical school of thought known as hedonia can bring great joy to everyday life. Perhaps the meal that makes you close your eyes and say, “That was divine,” the conversation that makes time disappear, or the moment of unexpected beauty that fills you with awe. These things can be a part of what makes a life feel good when we take the time to notice what matters.

The distinction, therefore, in making pleasure a part of a good life, is between chasing it unconsciously, running on the treadmill without knowing it, and noticing it consciously. And perhaps that noticing, that genuine appreciation of what feels pleasurable and contributes to a good life, is why gratitude is so consistently linked to a greater sense of wellbeing.

But this is still only one aspect, as pleasure is one thread. So, is there still a deeper question about what constitutes a good life? As a good life likely contains other threads – meaning, connection, purpose, creativity, rest, and agency. And what those look like, how much of each, and in what form, vary enormously from one person to the next.

What constitutes a good life for one person may be entirely wrong for another.

For someone that could be thriving in solitude, for another the need for a community to provide a sense of connection. For another, it could be finding meaning in creative work, and for another, in service. It could be the need for simplicity or a need for variety. None of these is more correct than the other; they are simply different and deeply personal.

Which means the only way to answer the question, what is a good life, is to actually ask it of yourself. Without looking sideways at what everyone else seems to have. Without measuring against the picture we have been shown (especially the one delivered to us by social media). Just… what matters to you. What makes you feel alive? What do you return to again and again and find that it still holds meaning? What small ordinary moments make something in you light up and say… yes, this is what makes life good.

A good life, then, is not a destination with a fixed address that everyone is trying to reach. It is something far more particular than that. Far more quietly personal. And perhaps far more available than we have been led to believe.

But we have to stop long enough to ask the question first.

My invitation to you is to spend some time sitting with the question, “What makes a good life to me?” And get curious as you define on your own terms what a good life looks and feels like for you. Then take steps each day to ensure you have done a little something that lets you know your life is good.